Do you tell them the truth

One of the most challenging questions to ask a client during a session, specifically about their partner – is : “Do you tell them what you THINK they want to hear from you, or do you tell them the TRUTH?”

Ouch! What a double edged sword this question is.

If you tell your loved one what you think they want to hear, then you base the information you share with them on what you think it is that they want to hear. Not what the truth is, but what you perceive to be what they want to hear. If someone wants to hear that you think the are the most intelligent person you know, whether it is truthful or not, then you basically feed their ego. Is that such a bad thing ? Well, when there are other ways make a person feel good about themselves, surely it can’t be healthy to feed and grow their ego with falsehoods? One day when they wakeup, and they turn to you and ask why you lied to them for so long – what will you say ? “But babe … this is what you wanted me to tell you …”

And if you tell them the truth all the time, then when it comes to that point when you should not be telling them something because it will really hurt them, emotionally – what do you do then? Do you start to lie – do you break the trust ? What if sharing the truth every time resulted in shattering their confidence, bit by bit until they no longer thought you are helping them grow ?

Now here is the thing.

You should absolutely do your best to be truthful and honest. You want to grow and strengthen the relationship. You want to nurture and support them to become the best version of themselves … don’t you?

I have written about this before in one of my blog posts. But now – I want to challenge you!

Do you know how to balance what you say to your loved one. Do you know when not to say something, and when to spill the beans ?

A favourite saying of mine is not what you say it is how and when you say it.

So if you have just had a fight, is it really the best time to say certain things. When the emotions are bouncing all over. When saying something will trigger a serious hurt response in your partner. Or should you learn to keep it under wraps and then say it when you are not emotionally charged ?

Learning to tell the truth and not what you think they want to hear is not easy, but it is important to balance the timing and the message with how you say it!